Mystical Illusions.

Sunday, June 01, 2008

First are fore most lets blog about friday.
How tragic can a day like yesterday get.
I woke up with the weird feeling inside of me.
But i just do not know what i was about to face.
so i lalala to school.
Okie then 1st moment happen,
i fell asleep on the train like usual but this time i woke up at woodlands and the door was about to close.
so i ended up going towards marsiling O.O
emo =(
Then i rush from 1 train to the opp train which doors was open wide for me.
what luck right, after a tragedy there's luck.
Count my blessings.
Ok then things went smooth sailing. saw sophia on the way. manage to persuade her take bus with me and estee. ate breakfast.
ahhh woop got to class.
Then 2nd moment i got brain drain in class,
mind was like a total blank
Blank you know blank.
Like a white sheet of paper.
so i didn't contribute much.
and i didn't learn and gain much.
hai.. my favourite lesson + favourite faci...
so i didn't do so well today.
what a disappointment i must be to my faci yesterday.
=(... i'll do better i promise.
Please don't drop my grade
hands crossed on that.
so class ended.
and i was rushing to get my 6p's ready for my exam.
guess what.
tragedy 3 came.
it started with a lag in the computer.
and so exam was about to begin, i could not restart my computer in 7 mins right.
so usual me decided that maybe things will work up fine.
but guess what it didn't it got much much much worse!
starting of exam i could not type my pw.
when i type it didn't even appear.
i was like why why why.
i started panic already.
seriously i wanted scream.
then i told my dear faci,
he asked me if i wanted to do on paper,
then i said yes.
then on my screen the pw appeared.
happy me =) ... i told faci don't need rdy.
STUPID right!
got paper don't take.
Later REGRET!
cause i was thinking i need the 6p to help me pass, and if i do on paper ,
no 6p to refer, no nothing.
so the moment i started the exam.
i regret it BIG time seriously BIG time!!!
it lag like mad.
i type it didn't appear until sometime.
Then i was like faci how.
then the faci in charge for my lvl/area came in.
he was helping some girl solve the problem.
but her's cannot work so she did on paper.
how lucky right!
i want to be her.
and i want be juliana too.
her come got jammed then she did on paper.
so that GUY was looking at my computer.
he closed a few of my processes then he told me to try again.
but the lagginess still continued.
then i told him.
GUESS WHAT HE SAID.
just continue doing.
HE SAID JUST CONTINUE DOING!
i was like i'm lagging so badly and you don't allow me do on paper and ask me to continue.
my other 2 friends were also encountering such problems.
one of them seriously flared up ready she really wanted to scold and shout at that guy already.
Tell us to continue.
damn him lar.
so okie i continued...
first i thought that i can just keep typing and it will all appear.
ok, it was a dumb move only half came out and i had to retype.
so it went like this
i write abit stop and wait for it show then write again then i wait for it to scroll down when i press the scroll, i wait for it to delete a few words when i pressed delete long ago.
so that was how it went for the 30 mins.
when everyone ended and left 3 of us.
my clock was on its 19 mins!
damn it, i was like ahhh
my friend was at 5 min and 17 min.
ahhh
so that guy came in and like seat for 10 mins then he changed his mind.
guess what he say.
HE SAID OKIE, I WILL GIVE YOUR THE PAPER TO DO!!!
DO IT IN 10 MINUTES , JUST FILL IN THOSE THAT YOU NEVER FILL IN, IN THE COMPUTER.
I WAS LIKE!!! WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST GIVE ME EARLIER.
ARE YOU LIKE PLAYING MY FEELINGS.
So fine i took the paper had to wait for him find a pen.
cause i don't bring pen to school.
thanks Guo Yu for offering your pen too.
ANYWAY i chiong 10 minutes on that stupid paper.
and seriously through that 10 mins i do not know what i was doing.
as when the lag happen my mind panic and gone blank.
so what i remembered, what i studied, what i read.
it had all gone out from my brain.
But SERIOUSLY.
i think its damn weird how i can do 12+++ questions(not sure how many but its more than 10) in 10 minutes,
I COMPLETED THE PAPER, LIKE EVERY SINGLE QUESTION EXCEPT ONE!
That one i really cannot think of an answer to put in it.
the protocol question.
i think i wrote non sense in the whole paper.
all i know was , i was very cold and trembling as i wrote as i took of my jacket cause i thought it was warm when i was doing the exam on the labtop,
think because i was damn mad,
till i got very warm.
then got cold when i did on paper as i was rushing, scared fail.
panicking at the same time,
rushing to complete the paper and questions too.
that guy is damn stressing he was like 5 mins to go
2 miins go.
CANNOT JUST SHUT UP!
so that was how the paper ended.
i have to terms that i may get a F for that day!
so emo.
then the 4th bad stuff happen.
as the paper took time to do.
estee and wan ting left.
i don't blame them.
i blame the faci, i blame that moment on why it happen.
so i went with jessalyn and jerome home.
from start of journey till end i was like what the, why like this, what a tragic day, that guy damn idiot... it continued till the interchange.
so was suppose to meet wan ting there.
then the 5th bad stuff happen.
bus came, =( , so she left without me, don't blame her, the bus came, cannot do much and she was in a hurry. so i went home alone. =(
so i emo on the bus, the people at the back and front of me was buzzing with life, talking chit and chatting, so i couldn't sleep on the bus. plus i got no mood to sleep on the bus.
so when i reached the interchange i call up dear nic.
right timing she just finish tution.
so we talk talk talk.
then okie.
6 happen.
few words said. okie then mind burst already.
i'm ready pressured itself and + this isn't getting better.
thanks seriously.
okie i seriously can't take over pressuring.
guess lots been on my mind and it never left but it increased.
do you know how i felt before you say such things seriously.
i just want get things done.
and seriously i listened to your opinion alot of times.
and first few time we did consider but seriously i have other factors to consider too besides that.
so i could not accept it.
i'm sorry i couldn't, i know you made alot of effort , i can see and i'm not blind.
but really it cannot.
so that's how i cried to a computer while checking my email.
as all this thoughts flood my mind.
glenn called and ask want to go.
i just said no, i got no mood to go out
seriously, i got no mood and i do not want ruin your night.
so i glance through the computer in glittery eyes, as i really wanted to talk to someone.
pauline was busy and far away so she couldn't come down, nic was eating dinner and i was waiting for her call back, but she didn't, i figured estee was busy so i didn't call, jac was out with candice so i didn't call, fran was out at paragon working, so i just said meet her another time since she was working.
so ivan thanks for coming down.
okie down not that far for you but its the effort that made me touch.
so since he was bored , i asked if he wanted go bliss he said okie =)
okie he made me laugh when he said.
its a date ah.
i said nope hahha
then i said call amanda they all bah.
so i called amanda.
yeah!
she could make it down.
she said i'm few stops away and she don't mind.
i called mac she didn't pick up so i thought su would be busy too =(
so i went upstairs took my sun glasses and wore it.
crazy right.
but with those puffy eyes it will have stares too anyway.
first time i didn't care much about my image.
so okie at 6,7pm plus got on the bus with those glasses.
man it was a long ride.
for the first time.
so before that i was on the phone saying i do not want eat at 401.
cause i was wearing sun glasses.
stupid logic.
she ask why, i tell her guess.
she said sore eyes , nope i said.
continue guessing
she said you got punch ah.
i was like Nooo.
then she said a few others.
then i said its near emo.
huh emo wear sunglasses.
i said yup emo with tears.
then she say oh ok then we go bliss.
so 3 of us seating there.
for months the smell of alcohol made no temptation but tis time it did.
i wanted forget everythin.
hahah okie, stupid thinking.
so ordered dinner.
ivan treat drinks =)
he got me a tequila + verburn coke.
amanda's cucumber blend or something was so nice,
she said no alcohol for me, i just got well and my exams are soon and alcohol kills brain cells.
okie when the drink arrived i was much better so the mood to drink it was gone already.
so i was like saying and talking and they were too =).
so thanks AMANDA for taking time off just to accompany me. sorry for taking you away from your books.
they rock my world.
made me feel this sentence which i typed in my msn.
'are u free for a friend?'
as i really needed one.
i always hide away the tears but sometimes i just need someone.
this sentence is really meaningful.
it shows how much a friend can mean to you and how busy you are to be a friend to that friend.
at the lowest point in time everyone needs a friend, to be their support and thats where we see the true picture of time.
so went blessed sacrament and prayed.
then went chill at amanda's new house. heee =)
watch the 9pm show.
last episode at last.
then went find mac , su , ben , bet and josh at bliss again.
talk abit then left.
Mac thanks for your words.
i will heed it well.
yups i got your meaning.
Thanks mac, you always know the words to said.
sometimes hard to swallow but bitter medicine is the sweetest it solves the mind blocks.
i hope your mind block will be cleared off soon.
so sat i totally let go, is not that i do not want to care.
is just i do not want put so much to it.
i'll just let it be.
i'm tired.
and i do not want cause anymore bad blood.
Alvyn thanks for being truthful
yup you were right.
it got in the mind.
thanks for that advice.
so that was how it ended.
anyway i seriously can't figure out.
how i managed to get to my room if i slept on the sofa.
weirds.

mystical illusions. 12:30 AM ♥